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All I'll Ever Be - EP

by Cloverdale

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Its the first track i ever heard in full and it was magic. it has a kind of tone too it like from whatever background you come from, whatever type of life you've lived or are currently living tbeough....you can feel these lyrics and feel the music in them. Loved it from day one and cant wait too see the band go even further Favorite track: Disposable.
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1.
Disposable 03:24
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Get wasted and stumble in to my car. Stay silent, I already know what you are Said, “I’m not drunk” at the top of your lungs. Be patient—steady biting my tongue “I’m not drunk” Scream at the top of your lungs I’m tired of being disposable Someone you gave up on And, at least I tried more and more each time Took some steps inside to help you ease your mind But, you’ve been stuck on the outside. And I held an umbrella ‘til the weather got better But, the rain soaked through my shoes. Just as long as it didn’t get on you. Said, “I’m not drunk” at the top of your lungs. Be patient—steady biting my tongue “I’m not drunk” Scream at the top of your lungs I’m tired of being disposable. Someone you gave up on. I’m tired of being disposable (You never saw how hard I tried) I’m tired of being disposable (All night, unwind) And I am afraid of mistakes I’ve made will take me to my grave I’m tired of being disposable. You told me that I was uptight You’re someone I couldn’t trust But, now you’re falling on the floor I’m over chasing you I can’t change your mind Whisper to the tile that you’ll be just fine. I’m tired of being disposable (You never saw how hard I tried) I’m tired of being disposable (All night, unwind) And I am afraid of mistakes I’ve made will take me to my grave I’m tired of being disposable.
2.
Circles 03:16
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Your roots comes crawling down. They sift inside for just a spot left in the ground. But, the hole you left is much more vacant now. What will it take for this to pacify? Because the walls are closing in. I’m spinning circles in my head again. ‘Cause I still feel you in my breath. In this ghost that you’ve left And, in these half lit cigarettes But, I still linger in your absence and the distance that you’ve kept. I’m still counting ever step. (I need a way out) Now I’ve been stuck inside for days In routines I cannot change It’s another example of love that you could not reciprocate What will it take for this to pacify? Because the walls are closing in I’m spinning circles in my head again What will it take for this to pacify? What will it take for this... Dive into you It’s all beneath the skin Dive into you Cause I can feel you crawling in What will it take for this to pacify? Because the walls are closing in I’m spinning circles in my head again What will it take for this to pacify? What will it take for this... I’m spinning circles
3.
35 03:24
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I’m not sure If I’ll see 35 Until what’s left inside of me Starts to subside I don’t want you to know Of the grief that I found Or how many times in a day I’m living in the ground. Lost and found. Started smoking again Just to feel the burn (the burn) (And I’ve been coughing up blood) I guess I’ll never learn I’ve been counting bottles In the back of my room Spilling over again I’ve been counting voices In the back of my head Telling me to “calm down” 3 A.M. instead All the trees were dead But, I still crashed my car in the woods again Settle into friends Try to make amends Using words I tried to keep in (Using words I tried to keep in) I don’t know want you to know Of the grief that I found Or how many times in the day I’m living in the ground. Lost and found. Started smoking again Just to feel the burn (the burn) (And I’ve been coughing up blood) I guess I’ll never learn
4.
Undone 03:20
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Your voice echoes in this empty space. These sheets lay still falling in and out of place. Talking to your ghost For you to come home (I want you to know) All I’ll ever be Is a vacant spot Inside your head (More than you are now) Now my head is numb My head is numb. I’m undone. I’ve been caught in your stare. (Let me go) Choke on words that you said. (Let me breathe) Suffocating again. (I can't go) Suffocating again. And you know I'm nothing. I know I’m always late No words for me to say I’ll sleep away the days ‘Til I can see you again I can’t forget your face. It’s like ice inside my veins And you’ve been gone for so long But, I’m still stuck inside your Oh, your old ways Tying me down I’m not alright With your insight Talking to your ghost For you to come home (I want you to know) All I’ll ever be Is a vacant spot Inside your head (More than you are now) Now my head is numb My head is numb. I’m undone. I’ve been caught in your stare. (Let me go) Choke on words that you said. (Let me breathe) Suffocating again. (I can't go) Suffocating again. And you know I'm nothing. And I know it's not your fault. All I’ll ever be Is a vacant spot Inside your head (More than you are now) Now my head is numb My head is numb. I’m undone. I’ve been caught in your stare. (Let me go) Choke on words that you said. (Let me breathe) Suffocating again. (I can't go) Suffocating again. And you know I'm nothing.
5.
Mourn 03:24
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“So what?” Is this you finally giving up? Like when you’d come home drunk And act like you’re not in the wrong Settle on a different face Finding any other way To cope with all of this, all of this (I’m long gone) I’m not a loss or someone you need to mourn. (Stay inside) Drown in your flaws; too gone to push off your floor I’ve been biting my tongue To lessen all the lies that I’ve been piling up inside my gums Deflect the blame I’ll do the same All you do is run away All you do is run away (I’m long gone) I’m not a loss or someone you need to mourn. (Stay inside) Drown in your flaws; too gone to push off your floor You lied and I Don’t know why you say you’re fine (I’ve been patiently waiting for you to come home safe) (I’m long gone) I’m not a loss or someone you need to mourn. I’ve been biting my tongue Drown in your flaws; too gone to push off your floor

about

This EP tells a few short stories of relationships, struggles, mental and emotion incapacitation, and near death experience. Opening with "Disposable", you get a quick sense of how the EP will go - somewhat fast paced instrumentals, a few convoluted guitar melodies, booming and rhythmic bass and percussion, and slightly dismal, but real heartfelt lyricism. We have all related so much to the music that has accompanied us in our late teen years and into our 20's. We have found solace in so many artists, and in knowing that we weren't the only ones who felt the way we did.

This collection is us reaching back out to anyone who has ever felt that they were alone in going through the many curves that life has to throw.

credits

released January 10, 2020

Recording by Pete Adams
Mixed by Pete Adams
Mastered by Dave Downham of Gradwell House Recording
Written by Colin Catrambone, Trent Amos, Dorian Cooke & Pete Adams

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Cloverdale Bellmawr, New Jersey

Six piece alternative band based out of the South Jersey/Philadelphia area.

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